What I Learnt From Season Three of Once Upon A Time

By Amy Hood - @Amylia403

 Hard to believe, but we have already come to the end of the third season of Once Upon a Time. Seems like just a few weeks ago we were suffering through the hiatus and now, here we are again!  Like in previous years, we have created a tongue-in-cheek list of a few things we have learned from Season Three.  From Storybrooke to Neverland to the Enchanted Forest we’ve traveled quite a lot this season, so let’s look back on what we’ve learned: 

REGINA IS HOT -- Okay, this one is obvious, but seriously…the woman had tentacles and stark white hair in an episode this season and STILL she was smoking hot.  Potato sack, couture gown, pants suit, eight legs…..makes no difference.  You just can’t ugly up Regina.  Momma Regal is divine. 

SOMETIMES A PIRATE CAN BE A PRINCE -- So Hook didn’t literally become a prince, but he did sacrifice to get the girl.  He gave up the thing that meant the most to him, the Jolly Roger, and despite multiple rejections, kept by Emma’s side.  What started as a comic relief relationship grew over the course of the season and in the end he won her heart.  Hook loved Neal, and felt his loss with Emma.  His death became a broken piece of both of their hearts that brought them together.  And the man taught her how to dance at a fairytale ball, and it was H-O-T.

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THE ENCHANTED FOREST NEEDS A PARENTING COURSE -- Let’s talk about some of the AMAZING parents that came from the Enchanted forest.  And when I say “amazing,” I actually mean “OMG WTH?!!!”  We are already quite familiar with Cora. This season we saw that her selfishness started far earlier than we thought when she abandoned Zelena.  Then we have Malcolm who became Peter Pan after abandoning his son, Rumple, not for any noble reason, but to be young, fly and eat cake.  Sounds like dude wanted to get high and eat sweets. 

IT’S NOT HYPE, THEY WILL LITERALLY ALWAYS FIND EACH OTHER -- Good grief! Poor Snow and Charming.  It seems like they can’t get a break!  First they lost their daughter, then each other, then each other again, and probably a few more times tossed in there.  THEN Zelena comes along and takes their new baby!  Yet through it all, that family always comes out on top.  There’s enough love in the Charming family to keep them always finding each other forever!

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NEVERLAND IS NOT THE VACATION DESTINATION YOU IMAGINED -- Admit it.  As a child you wanted to go to Neverland.  Think some happy thoughts then fly on to the second star to the right and straight on ‘til morning.  Frolic with mermaids and pirates and never grow old!  No rules, no parents!  No escape…ever!  Yay!...wait…what?  That’s right kids, dreams dashed! Neverland means you can never leave.  What a total bummer!  And to top it all off, Peter Pan is the evilest little bastard ever!  And, hold on to your butt cheeks…HOOK is the good guy!  My whole childhood was a lie!

VILLAINS DON’T GET HAPPY ENDINGS -- Oh Rumple and Regina, why do you wanna crush our hearts this way?  We are not buying it.  There has been redemption here and frankly we are giving you the ok to go on and get that happy ending.  You’re not villains; you are who you choose to be.  Rumple and Regina will definitely get their Happy Endings down the road.  I have decreed it this day.  Look at that sweeter-than-pie wedding in the forest for Rumbelle!  If the sparkly imp who steps on people after he turns them to snails can get a happy ending, anyone can. 

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ELSA IS COMING -- Like it or hate it, that icy singing queen has hopped the portal train to Storybrooke.  Thankfully Snow and Belle seem to have closets full of really stylish coats they can wear as winter comes to town.  Hopefully it will come quicker than Game of Thrones’ Winter, because good lord, that’s been on its way for three years now.  So residents of the town, check your heaters, buy some warm clothes and practice singing along, because you know as you’re reading this, the music is already in your head! 

The final note for everyone is to enjoy re-watching and being a part of this amazing fan community.  Don’t use your time for hate and argument.  We all get different things from the show, which is the beauty of the inspiration it gives to us all. 

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